Shalom, chaverim,
Shalom, chaverim,
Shalom! Shalom!
L'hitraot, l'hitraot,
Shalom, shalom.
Don't ask me. I have no idea how a tune that originated in the West Bank came to be known by a black man from the East Bank (of the Chattahoochee, that is). I don't recall where I learned it, but I found myself singing it out loud this afternoon after having picked up a book on the Holy Land in which the very first word written was "shalom." Until today, I didn't really know what the title meant.
Shalom: "Shalom (שָׁלוֹם) is a Hebrew word meaning peace, Nothing missing, Nothing broken, wellbeing, and complete,[1][2][3] and used to mean hello, and goodbye."
So that's it, "Peace, friends." Simple words, but powerful ones. Words Jesus spoke shortly before his death, and after his resurrection speak of peace, and of friends.Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.--John 14:27
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!"--John 20:19 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.--John 15:13-15
But what is peace? The absence of war? A symbol of the hippie movement? Something rappers say at the end of a song? What does it really mean? I wish I knew. To be perfectly honest, I'm not certain that I've ever known true and lasting peace. Contentment? You betcha. Temporary calm? Absolutely. Lack of "noise" in my life due to circumstances? Certainly!
But peace? I'm just not so sure.I suspect that the lack of "shalom" may be tied to a lack of "chaverim." That's not a "whoa-is-me-I-have-no-friends" kind of statement, either. I know that people like me. I have the respect of many. I have felt loved. But I really, really struggle with allowing myself to be known, despite the fact that I know, in my head, that being known is the key to feeling the true touch of friends.
I want you to know me down to my deepest part.
I want you to understand the cry of my heart.
I want you to feel with me when I’m in great pain.
I want you to be with me in the sunshine and the rain.
I want you to see me. I want to let down my guard.
I want to be real with you, but it’s just so hard.
I want you to laugh with me when laughter’s in my heart.
I want to know what real love is, but I don’t know where to start.
But I want you to…
Look at me! See beyond my disguise.
Hear my confused voice. See my teary eyes.
Feel my pain. Walk a mile in my shoes.
I may look strong but I need love too.
Show me a place where I don’t have to hide
The secret longings of my soul I keep inside.
I want to be true to myself. Whoa, I long to be real,
I want you to know and understand the way I feel.
Yeah I want you to…
Look at me! See beyond my disguise.
Hear my confused voice. See my teary eyes.
Feel my pain. Walk a mile in my shoes.
I may look strong but I need love too.
Let’s walk down lonesome roads, see the dark parts of my soul.
Only when the broken pieces are exposed, can they be made whole.
I want to be touched in the place of my deepest, darkest sore.
I’m sick of these shallow friendships. I need something more.
I want you to cry with me, when tears are in my heart.
I want to know what true love is, and now I know where to start
‘Cause I want you to
Look at me! See beyond my disguise.
Hear my confused voice. See my teary eyes.
Feel my pain. Walk a mile in my shoes.
I may look strong but I need love too.
I need to be touched in the place of my darkest, deepest, most painful sore.
May the preparation, the trip, and the aftermath collectively lead to more peace, more vulnerability, and more life in me. And may all who read this experience the peace and the sense of connection with Jesus that he so desires us to have. Shalom, chaverim.
--Ben
3 comments:
Ben the poem (or song lyrics) you put in your blog was just great. Did you write that?
I think it speaks so clearly what so many people feel day to day. Who doesn't want to be seen, I mean fully seen, and still thought of as completely captivating? At the same time though how rare is it that you feel comfortable enough to bare open yourself?
I know one of my greatest fears is that when people get to know me and all my history they'll decide I'm not worth it. I found though, and still do, that in my most doubt-filled moments one of the greatest comforts was knowing that He already knew it all and still He was there. It may have felt like He was quiet and all but a ghost in the room but still you knew He was there.
Any way that was a great big long tangent but I wanted to wish you well. I look forward to reading more from you.
I love love love the song you put in this blog and have played it for so many clients that are struggling. I agree with you that we all struggle to allow ourselves to really be known...especially by our creator. I will pray for you as you prepare your heart for this trip.
Holly
Bridget: Yes, I did. It's a song called "Cry Of My Heart."
Holly: Thanks so much! Jen had mentioned that to me a while back, actually.
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